Flavors galore: Mountain Dews ranked

permission to print image: Gale

10. Major Melon: More like Major Bust. Major Melon came out a couple of months ago and was a big disappointment. It just isn’t good, and I was quite disappointed.

9. Code Red: Code Red is by far the most overrated, terrible, awful, no good flavor of Mountain Dew. It is quite possibly the worst, which just shows how bad Major Melon is. Code Red tastes like what it is called, Red, and red is not good. It’s considered a “gamer drink”, but that doesn’t mean that it is good.

8. Frost Bite: Frost Bite is a newer flavor that is similar to Voltage and is at Walmart in cans and bottles. I think it’s good right when you open it and take the first couple sips, but after a while it tastes like blue fun dip. It is a refreshing chug, but not a good relaxing drink.

7. Voltage: Voltage is a classic and it’s a favorite among those with a strong want for sugar; it’s like Frost Bite but stays good. Voltage is even better warm though, and in slushie form it’s easily the best Dew. Voltage is also easily the most versatile Dew, and it is in my opinion the prettiest Dew. Circle K has it as a slushie.

6. Baja Blast: Baja Blast is good, but it gets watery and loses flavor quickly. I think that it has the possibility to be higher, but it also has the possibility to be lower. It’s a median Dew and six is where I would put it. When the Steak Quesarito at Taco Bell went away, the Baja Blast lost some points for me. However, when they do the limited time sales of the Baja, they fly off the shelves quickly. It is very good as a slushie too.

5. Livewire: Livewire is an Orange Crush but in Dew form, and it’s amazing. I think the top five Dews are all interchangeable in some respects, but what puts Livewire lower is the sting. It stings, but the Orange is so perfect. I haven’t seen it in a slushie, but I guarantee it would be amazing.

4. Atomic (Mountaineer) Blue: Available at Sheetz out of the machine, this is some of the freshest most refreshing hard-hitting Dew available. My goodness it will get you. It’s like drinking a bag of pop rocks; it’s that exciting. Atomic Blue was called Mountaineer Blue on West Virginia University’s campus and it tastes even better down in Morgantown.

3. Original Cane Sugar Dew/Regular Dew: These are two flavors of the mean green regular flavored Dew. When you want something that will “tickle your innards”, go for the cane sugar. It’s like the Original Coke available at McDonalds, it’s just tough to get a full glass down sometimes. Regular Dew is just water quite frankly; my record is a liter of it in about 35 seconds. Regular Dew is just comforting; it will put a smile on your face and make you feel better. It’ll kill sinus infections and stomach aches, and it is a great jello flavor as well.

2. DEW-S-A: Oh, my goodness, it is finally back! Mountain Dew-S-A is the most American flavor they have. I think that the last time it was out was before Dale Earnhardt Jr. retired from NASCAR. It’s a mix of Voltage, White Out and Code Red that’s perfectly blended. It’s fantastic and is the embodiment of America and a great homage to the people. I love the limited flavor that tastes like freedom and the summer. It has Dew fanatics excited for its surprise return.

  1. Sweet-Lightning: At KFC only, the Colonel knows his chicken and man does he know carbonation. Sweet Lightning is a southern flavored peach and honey Dew. It tastes like happiness. That is the only way to put it. It doesn’t have a bad aftertaste and is smoother than KFC mashed potatoes. Dipping chicken in it makes the chicken taste like candy and it is terrific. Sweet Lightning takes every other Dew and kicks it to the curb, there is nothing like it and the Colonel did it right. It is my favorite flavor and makes everything better. The only problem is that it is only available at KFC, so that usually means chicken comes with it.

Mountain Dew is my favorite beverage on the planet. I know my list goes with what I like, and I know that many people probably disagree, but I consider myself to be an Aficionado of Dew. Dew is a gift, and I don’t take it for granted, and it is a serious matter. If you have any questions about Dew, find me.