photo credit: Rylee Bokesch
Keira – “having a boyfriend is embarrassing”
Vogue recently came out with an article in October about whether or not having a boyfriend is embarrassing. This was written by Chanté Joseph, who posted a Tiktok about this article she wrote, and this continued to spread around social media and cause speculation.
In the article, it states that boyfriends are out of style. They won’t come back in style until they start acting right. Along with more statements, having a boyfriend typically takes hits on a woman’s aura, as one commenter claimed.
This is completely valid; boyfriends are embarrassing. Think about it: womanhood used to be affirmed by who you are dating; therefore, posting and praising a boyfriend online just amplifies that idea. I personally believe that this article is empowering and further helps the argument that as a woman, having a boyfriend butchers how they look from others.
I understand that there are happy relationships, and people shouldn’t care how they look to others. However, that doesn’t make it something women shouldn’t be embarrassed by.
Modern dating values female independence, and as a society, people have finally shifted from those past norms of relying on a relationship to be valuable as a woman.
In the article, Joseph also mentions how being single gives someone more freedom, especially as a woman. She says being single gives women this ultimate freedom to say and do what they want. It is absolutely not every woman, but I do notice that women can become more beige and watered-down online when in a relationship.
It’s a fact that relationships need a lot of compromise to thrive, which includes compromising needs, passions, dreams and overall can make a woman’s identity more bland. This happens subconsciously for women, especially since women are raised to believe they need to tone down for men.
Even though falling in love can be fun and exciting, the concept of heteronormativity and having a boyfriend can subconsciously be a fragile concept in the public eye.
Women’s desire to romanticize a single life is moving and rethinking traditional roles of needing a boyfriend helps reevaluate the idea of being with a man.
Abi – “having a boyfriend is only embarrassing if your boyfriend is embarrassing”
Having a boyfriend isn’t embarrassing, and being in love definitely isn’t something that should be ridiculed or shrunk away from.
According to Vogue, having a boyfriend is embarrassing; author Chanté Joseph writes that being single is more of a flex than being in a relationship, and that posting left and right about one’s lover is starting to “turn off” the general public.
But let’s think about this more: has anyone ever looked at a perfect boyfriend and thought, “Yeah, it’s embarrassing that she is with him?” No! Obviously not.
If that man worships the ground his significant other walks on, buys them flowers, takes them to dinner, respects their decisions and values their presence, then girl, he’s a catch.
In this newly prominent article, Joseph writes that some female content creators “also experience people unfollowing [them] when [they share] a romantic relationship.”
So what is it? Jealousy, perhaps? Because I truly cannot think of a single embarrassing thing about being in love with someone who is just as in love with you.
As Zohran Mamdani said in his take on the viral Vogue article, “If you’re worried your boyfriend will embarrass you, you should probably get a new boyfriend.”
I couldn’t agree more Mr. Mamdani! Because while I cannot imagine an embarrassing aspect of an amazing boyfriend, I can think of a multitude of them when I see a girl dating a bad guy.
So let’s stop shaming the lovebirds and the healthy happy couples; maybe people can turn some of this relationship-angled jealousy into judging the girls who cut their standards in half, ignore their morals and pick the first guy that turns attention in their direction.
Not to say that it is the girl’s fault for the boys’ issues, but women really need to stop settling and let them get away with their actions, ladies. Like The Medium said, “You will sift through a lot of stained shirts, but if you keep looking, you’ll eventually find something amazing.”
So if that article hit a little too close to home for you, maybe it’s a sign to reevaluate your relationship decisions. Because having a boyfriend is really only embarrassing if your boyfriend is embarrassing.
