photo credit: Sophia Robinson
Valentine’s Day is around the corner. It is a time when many people are showered with flowers, boxes of chocolate, candies, love letters and other romantic gestures. While these grand gestures are flaunted on social media, it can leave a lot of singles feeling lonely, wishing that they were in that same space.
Social media and societal norms place romantic relationships on a pedestal and glamorizes the idea of Valentine’s Day – the idea that it should be spent with a romantic partner. But this holiday is much more than being in a relationship with someone else, this can be a time where singles can form a healthier relationship with themselves.
Being secure with yourself prepares you for future romantic encounters. According to Simply Psychology, insecurities within a relationship can damage it by creating jealousy, attachment styles, the fear of abandonment, anxiety and more. Ways to work on this is first understanding that having love, respect and honor for oneself reflects on the connections that someone may have.
An excerpt from “The Circle of Fire”, written by Don Miguel Ruiz said, “Self-love gives you the power to break all the lies you were programmed to believe — lies that say, ‘I’m not good enough; I’m not beautiful enough; I’m not strong enough; I can’t make it.’ With self-love, you are no longer afraid to face problems and resolve them as soon as they arise. You trust yourself completely to make choices that support you, and you never set up circumstances that go against you.”
We believe that forming this deep connection with oneself stimulates less need for external validation, allows someone to be more confident, especially when it comes to communicating with others – as well as having healthy personal boundaries and boundaries with other people.
A popular thing that women do on Valentine’s Day is “Galantines’’, where groups of women celebrate their friendships by throwing a small party, doing a spa day, going out to dinner or other fun activities. This day focuses more on platonic relationships and shifts away from the importance of romance and towards the importance of companionship. Through participating in Galantines, the stereotypical Valentine’s Day celebration is weakened.
In the media, Valentine’s Day is marketed to create the illusion of ‘perfect relationships.’ However, this idealized representation leads to negative self-image and perception.
We think that catering to oneself will limit negative self-perception, and that these things don’t have to be a big thing or something elaborate. Something as simple as finding a new hobby, eating healthy and nutritious foods, saying affirmations to oneself, meditating, and even journaling are small ways to form a deeper understanding of who someone is, and this allows them to love themselves more.
In addition to self-love, society sometimes views self-love as being selfish and that self-love is only surface level, although that is far from the truth. The truth is, the media has already damaged the way we view ourselves, and so it is imperative that we empower ourselves to feel comfortable in a world full of superficial illusions. Valentine’s Day already makes singles feel bad about not having a romantic relationship, making them get all in their heads about this circumstance. And with practicing self-love, singles can acknowledge that they may have a romantic partner, but the love they have for themselves is strong and genuine.
With this season of love, we hope that single people can learn to appreciate this holiday for its meaning of love in general, not only for romance. That the truest form of love is unconditional love for yourself.
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