Man in the Mirror: The struggles with self-image

When someone is asked “what’s the most important thing you have?”, most people would say their phone, friends, family, pet, or many other things. But there’s one thing that most people never seem to think about: themselves.

I can’t say that that is the first thing that I would think about either. Self-image or self-esteem is something that I’ve struggled with through the years. Whether it’s confidence in my abilities or how my body looks, it seems that it has been hitting an all-time low.

And this is something that many Americans struggle with too. According to Medium, 85 percent of Americans suffer from low self-esteem.

 Because we live in a time of constant social media connection, it’s understandable why people have this low self-image. Every day, dozens of different social media apps are opened, used, and posted on. Millions of teenagers and adults see posts of other people and supermodels, whilst commonly thinking “I wish I looked like them.”

After that it all comes down to the likes, comments and reposts. People strive to get more of these with every single post they make. These likes are now a popularity contest; whoever gets the most is better.

This is one of the reasons so many people struggle with self-image. Social media has created a world where it’s no longer what one thinks about themselves; it’s what others think. This is a problem.

The first step for improving self-image is to move past the likes and comments. It doesn’t matter that someone else received more likes on a post because likes don’t determine the worth of a person. Everyone is special in their own way.

And when I say this, I’m not trying to push people away from social media. If there’s a picture that someone wants to post of themself, always post it. Everyone should be proud and confident in themselves. With that comes the want to show others who they are.

Some social media platforms have great ways to help with this too. For example, Instagram allows people to disable the like counts on posts, so that one can’t see how many people liked their post, or how many people liked another person’s post. They also give the ability to disable comments on posts.

The next step for improving self-image is to surround yourself with people who appreciate you for who you are. From my personal experience, this is the most important step.

This is one of the hardest steps, especially if it comes from people you trusted. One of the people I was closest with, who I trusted would push me up and not down, ended up being the reason my self-image is so low today. 

Certain comments, like “you don’t have a good physique”, or “it’s embarrassing to be with you in public, you’re too crazy,” hurt like a kick to the gut. Those comments shot me down to some of my lowest points. 

In these situations, one must distance themselves from these toxic relationships. And this could definitely be hard, especially if they are seen as a friend. But are they really a friend if they are making these comments?

And now that I’ve distanced myself from that relationship, I’ve felt so much better about myself. I’ve found a new relationship, with someone who appreciates me for me, and doesn’t point out my flaws. This is what other people need to do.

Find or stick with the people who don’t judge one for their differences, but appreciate and care for them. One has to find friends who will always have their back and hold them up, instead of pushing them down.

The final step to improve self-image is to just be confident and proud. This may seem like the hardest step, but everyone has the ability to do this.

No matter what people say or how they judge, one must learn the ability to not care what they think. They have no right to judge someone’s life, and their words shouldn’t be what bring someone down. People must have in themselves because there is only one version of each person on this planet.

No matter what it is, body-shape, intelligence, abilities, sexual orientation and countless others, it is important to realize that everyone is special, important and appreciated. Don’t listen to the negative comments; the planet wouldn’t be the way it is without people’s differences, so go show them off to the world.