writing: Taylor Goudie
design: Natalia Favlia Inacua
source: Harper’s Bazaar
Once someone turns 16 years old, they are the legal age of consent. Controversially, age gaps in relationships are often present, whether it be a 16 year old dating a 19 year old or a 20 year old dating a 40 year old.
Huge age gaps are extremely problematic and shouldn’t exceed more than approximately 15 years apart.
Even though once someone reaches the age of 16, they’re free and legal to date whomever they want who is also 16 or older, doesn’t make anyone older necessarily OK to date. Sure, large age gaps can work, but some are just too extreme.
It’s common to see age gaps within relationships even within the community. These age gaps have also been relatively normalized and accepted within society, although some of the bigger age gaps should be questioned.
A big name in the media right now in regards to his questionable dating history is actor Leonardo DiCaprio. At 48 years old, the majority of women who DiCaprio has dated are in their twenties.
As of recently, there was talk of DiCaprio with his rumored relationship with 19-year-old Eden Polani. An interesting — and pretty gross — concept being shared on social media is the idea that DiCaprio’s new potential girlfriend’s high school experience was impacted by COVID-19 and she wasn’t even born when the Titanic movie was released, according to Daily Mail, going to show just how much younger she is.
It definitely comes off strange that as an older man he doesn’t date anyone remotely close to his age. It has been somewhat normalized in society to see older men with younger women though.
In a study done in the book Dataclysm by Christian Rudder on the age men 20 to 50-years-old find most attractive in women, all of the men said women in their early 20s. For example, the 42 year old said he finds 20-year-old women most attractive and the 50 year old man said he finds 22-year-old women most attractive. These results were contrary to the results done with women where they found men around their age most attractive.
Another highly controversial celebrity pair that switches the dynamic is 32-year-old Aaron Taylor-Johnson and 55-year-old Sam Taylor-Johnson. After meeting on the set of a film together in 2009, they began dating and then got married in 2012.
This goes to show that it’s not just older men who go for younger women, but also older women going for younger men.
Even though Aaron Taylor-Johnson was 18 when he met Sam, the significant age gap is weird—considering she could literally be his mother with that age gap—and points to a power imbalance.
When one is extremely older in a relationship, they tend to have more power over their younger partner. This power struggle can be very harmful and lead to unhealthy relationships.
This can especially be seen in celebrity relationships when the younger partner idolizes the much older partner, such as 19-year-old Taylor Swift dating 32-year-old John Mayer or 20-year-old Phoebe Bridgers dating 40-year-old Ryan Adams.
Sure, it’s possible for there to be true love between someone older and someone younger, but it definitely can be concerning to see so many wide age gaps within relationships. It’s also definitely weird to consider many of the older partners being legally able to drink before their younger partner was even born.
In high school, age gaps should be even more restrictive. Dating someone more than two years older or younger is strange and shouldn’t be done, especially when the difference in maturity is accounted for. For example, a 14-year-old freshman dating a 17-year-old junior is concerning; so much growth in maturity takes place between those years.
Because there is so much maturing to be done in school, it makes sense for the age gaps to be deemed weirder. A 16 year old dating a 20 year old is much different than a 23 year old dating a 27 year old.
In truth, any age gap larger than 15 is definitely questionable and raises a potential red flag. The true intentions in the relationship can be shady which can lead to a toxic relationship.
