writing: The editorial board
designer: Hiya Patel
It’s a casual day at the family reunion, when I run into the great-aunt I haven’t seen in a year. “I just saw your instagram post! You and your girlfriend are so cute,” she said. “Well, she’s not my girlfriend, she’s just my… well, she’s just… we’re just talking,” I say back.
This is an experience almost every person currently in a relationship has gone through. That awkward phase in-between the first time talking, all the way up until the relationship actually starts. This new stage is often considered as the “talking stage”.
According to Cosmopolitan, “the Gen-Z-coined phrase is a vague descriptor for an early pseudo-relationship full of texting and talking—and maybe even full-blown dates and hookups—but no commitment.” Getting to know the other person in the talking-stage is very important; it’s practically what the talking stage is for.
In recent times, every relationship has started to become practically the same; a few months in the taking stage, then two people start dating. And, while every relationship is different and unique, it is essential that every couple takes the time to get to know each other in this talking-stage before they can start dating.
For starters, jumping into a relationship without knowing the person well enough is going to have negative effects for the future. It’s simple things like favorite color, how many siblings they have, favorite restaurant, and other things like that.
But along with the simple things, it’s also important to talk about some of the uncomfortable things, such as past relationships and what each person wants in the relationship now. Talking about these things now helps to gain trust between partners, but also helps to prevent uncomfortable situations in the future about something that wasn’t talked about before.
The talking stage is also essential to see if a relationship between two people would end up working out and staying strong. All the months of talking, building trust, learning about each other helps to answer an essential question; would we work out as a couple?
Because the talking stage is practically dating, it allows for a sneak-peak of what dating would actually look like. If it ends up working out, it works out. But if it doesn’t, an awkward breakup has just been prevented.
So, while it’s no question that a talking stage is necessary, one might be wondering, “how long should we spend in the talking stage before we can start dating?”
Relationships can start in multitudes of different ways. For example, there can be a couple who have known each other since they were in elementary school, but they just started dating in high school. On the other hand, there are couples who didn’t meet each other until two months before they started talking.
With that being said, every couple will be different. The time needed for one couple in a talking stage will be different than another couple. Never feel pressured to rush into a relationship because other people are going quicker.
When the time is right, the time is right, and it’ll be unique for everyone. Succumbing to societal pressures and norms can affect the relationship in the future. Take time, learn about each other, and ensure that the only people making decisions about the relationship are the two parties involved.
